I would love to share with you an experience that left me with a huge grin on my face. It’s about an obnoxious old lady, or so I thought it was!
Last week I had a doctors appointment and I had a bit of a walk to get there. If you live in Brisbane you will know how hot it has been lately! As I arrived at the entrance to the surgery I got caught behind an old lady with a walking stick. I had spied her walking up the hill as I was coming from the opposite direction and I was amazed that she was out walking by herself in such extreme heat. She had long trousers pulled right up to her waist, a shirt with a collar, a scarf and closed in flat shoes complete with stockings. She must have been boiling.
She was going so slow I quickly passed her and made my way to the reception counter. There was already someone being served so I stood in line awaiting my turn. As I waited the old lady shuffled past me, straight up to the front of the counter and stood right next to the lady being served.
I was indignant.
In my world the rules are as follows:
If there is a line at the counter you stand behind the last person and wait for your turn to be served; it’s common courtesy. I was the last person, so the old lady should stand behind me.
That was the first thought that instantly popped into my mind with out any warning, without any analyzing and without any censoring.
The next thought was more measured.
I gazed at the old lady leaning heavily on the counter and decided she needed it to prop her up. She was probably exhausted from walking in the heat. I was certain that when she was served she would indicate I had been there before her and should be served first.
Oops, I was so wrong!
As soon as the person in front of me moved away the old lady jumped straight in and demanded attention. So I let it go through to the keeper with this thought in my mind:
What an obnoxious and ill-mannered old lady she was!
I watched her go and sit outside the doctor’s office and I made my way to the water cooler and poured myself a cup of water. It was then that compassion kicked in and before I knew it I was walking over to her to see if she would like a drink. She declined and said she would be seeing the doctor straight away.
I went back to my seat, retrieved my mobile phone and settled in for a long session.
About ten minutes later the old lady came out of the doctor’s room and made a beeline towards me. She stopped in front of my seat and said she would like that drink now because the doctor needed a urine test and she had only just been to the toilet.
She sat down next to me and we had a wonderful conversation.
I learnt that she had walked 15 minutes in 35 degree heat to get to her appointment, she lived with her husband buy didn’t want him to drive her to the surgery and she had had quite a few dizzy spells whilst walking and nearly over balanced at the traffic lights. She was now going to walk to the hospital to get a blood test and by the time she had done that she would surely need to wee and would be able to supply the urine specimen needed. I know what you are thinking, way too much information, but I couldn’t help but listen and marvel at how independent and resilient this lady was.
She then leaned over, gave me a big hug and a kiss on the cheek, said her name was Winnie and how much she had enjoyed the chat.
I watched her get up and shuffle to the door with my heart over flowing with compassion and my happiness bank filled to the brim. All because I had made the effort to over ride my initial negative thoughts and proactively show some compassion and kindness.
The moral of the story
You will always be bombarded with instantaneous negative thoughts that explode in your mind before you have a chance to process and analyse them. Don’t beat yourself up about this, it’s the way we are wired and is perfectly normal. The most important thing is what you decide to do after you have had these initial thoughts.
You have the choice to either let them linger, causing unpleasant feelings or you have the choice to challenge them and replace them with compassionate thoughts that will lead you to a more productive and happier outcome.
To do the latter you need great self awareness and the ability to monitor the thoughts that enter you mind like a steady parade of marching ants. It takes effort, it takes energy, it takes dedication and it takes a burning desire to be a better person and to make this world a better place. AND guess what, when you choose the latter and put love out into the world it will come back to you twofold.
Be happy, colour the world.
Claire
