Pursuing happiness can be dangerous

Last week a good friend of mine sent me a personal message with a link to an article. He said to me “Claire I didn’t want to post this on your Happy Art FB page and appear to be undermining your business because this isn’t my intention but I wondered what you thought about this article on pursuing happiness?”

The article was by Hugh Mackay, a social researcher and author. His opening line was “I actually attack the concept of happiness”. WOW that’s a bold statement, I thought, particularly in this day and age when positive psychology and happiness is on everyone’s lips.

Mackay went on to say “I don’t mind people being happy – but the idea that everything we do is part of the pursuit of happiness seems to me a really dangerous idea and has led to a contemporary disease in Western society, which is fear of sadness.”

I wrote back to my friend and said I actually agreed with Mackay on many of his points and went on to point out why. I thought it would be worthwhile sharing this with you, as I know it’s very easy to get caught up in the happiness trap and become unhappy.

I love this quote:

Happiness is like a butterfly; the more you chase it, the more it will elude you; but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softy on your shoulder.” Henry Thoreau

The pursuit of happiness

Relentlessly pursing happiness at the detriment to everything else is dangerous as Mackay suggested. Everything in life requires balance and happiness is no different. Our physical body is constantly in a state of flux trying to balance our hormones, our blood glucose, our pH, our inner ear, our temperature and the list goes on. If we are out of balance physically or mentally it can be detrimental to our well-being.

It’s perfectly ok to pursue happiness as long as you have a balanced approach to it. You need to realize that life will inevitably challenge you and there will be times when you are going to be unhappy. It is usually this unhappiness that pushes us to make different choices and to stretch ourselves to become more evolved beings.

Happiness is our default position!

Mackay says this is rubbish and I agree with him. Happiness is not our natural state, as our physiology is hard wired for fear. That’s why we need to focus on the good things in life so we don’t constantly live in fear. Depositing into your happiness account every day with gratitude, helping others, doing something that brings you joy, utilizing your gifts and being creative is the best way to cultivate happiness.

Happiness should be replaced with wholeness

Mackay says “Wholeness is what we ought to be striving for and part of that is sadness, disappointment, frustration, failure; all of those things which make us who we are.”

I love this concept and I have always encouraged people to view true happiness as living a rich full and meaningful life. This means there are times when you are going to feel sad, lonely, frustrated and your whole world is going to look bleak. It’s  through these times however, that we get to appreciate how amazing it feels to be happy; after all you can’t have rainbows without rain.

Cultivating happiness is not just the experience of instant positive emotions like joy, excitement and elation, it’s also having meaning and purpose in your life which can often stretch your thinking and make you feel uncomfortable. It’s about fostering great relationships which require effort and hard work and it’s about giving back to the community which sometimes means putting yourself second in order to help others. It’s through these pro social acts that we build a strong foundation of happiness and find out who we are and what we are really capable of doing. That’s where wholeness comes into it.

Thank you Hugh Mackay for a different perspective on happiness and thank you Mick for always being curious and asking the tough questions. This is when true learning takes place!

Be happy, colour the world.

Claire